Asking For Help

For the past three weeks or so I've been on "house arrest".  Heat and humidity combined with chronic health conditions equals staying inside where there is air conditioning.  This can get old real quick.  It also tends to throw me into negative thinking patterns.  That's fun, too.

ETA has taught me to establish a relationship with a Power greater than myself and then improve my conscious contact with Him.  Great suggestion and one that has saved my neck a number of times.  So I start whining to the old HP, which might not actually fall under improving my relationship with Him but does qualify as contact.  Plus, I was very conscious of what I was communicating:  He was being bad to me and had better knock it off.  The old HP and I have, at times, a rather, uh, intense relationship shall we say?  I figure He's the one that gave me a disease of perception so He's big enough to handle the fallout from it.

I have often whined to the old HP about various and assorted perceived injustices.  But, just because I've frequently done so does not mean (in any way, shape or form) that I have learned from these experiences.  I am an alcoholic and drug addict, after all!!  I'm suggesting the changes He could make in the drought conditions, heat, etc.  I'm reminding Him that I have a new pool that I can't enjoy, that I need ETA meetings, that I need to work with other alcoholics, and that I start to feel worthless, that I have nothing to contribute to society, when I don't do these things.  On and on and on until I'm interrupted by the ringing of my phone.  I tell Him that I'll be right back.

Tricked me!  On the line is an alcoholic that I don't sponsor but that remembered I was home during the day so she called me with a dilemma and did I have time to talk?  I certainly did!  Towards the end of that phone call someone sends me a text asking me to call when I wasn't busy.  Hang up and begin a new call.  I ended up spending over 2 hours working with other alcoholics via the phone.

I never did get back to the old HP to continue our earlier conversation.  I was too busy expressing my gratitude to Him for those that reached out to me asking for help, thus obliterating those negative thought and feelings that seem to crop up, no matter how long I've been sober, when I get too far from ETA.

Have a good and sober day.