Analyyyzer 310.2

Analyyyzer

\ANAL-why?why?why?-zer\
noun
Meaning

: an adult that consistently responds to any statement or explanation by asking, "But, why?"; one who convinces him/herself that they are looking for information when in reality they want to stay focused on the problem; a major irritant to sponsors and other mentors

A guy who had tried to get and stay clean and sober in the recovery program ETA a couple of times before was back for another try. (Although many come into ETA and stay sober, there are those that relapse, slip, pick up and drink or drug again before achieving long term sobriety.) Now that he was back, he was determined to 'do it right this time' and wanted to ask me a few questions. Sure thing, people in recovery always try to be available to talk with a new comer.

"How does this program work?", is his first question. I begin to explain about going to meetings, finding a Higher Power, choosing someone to guide him through the steps (aka: sponsor) reading literature when he interrupts me. "No. I want to know what makes this thing work." I'm in italics.

"I was answering that question."

"No. I'm trying to figure this thing out."

"There is nothing to figure. You simply follow directions."

"But what makes it actually work?"

"The ETA program is a concept; it doesn't 'work'." I feel my spirits start to sink. Experience has taught me that people with this need to analyyyze the workings of ETA don't get sober. They think about the program but ETA is a program of action, not thinking.

"Well, how does it work, then?"

"You go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps, find a Higher Power..."

"I know all that." he interrupts me. "I want to know what makes it work."

ETA isn't a program of knowing either, is what I'm thinking. What I say is, "It's like a set of directions. You know, 'some assembly required'? You have to take action."

"If I can just figure it out..."

"The program isn't like a bike or a gas grill where you can pay more money for somebody else to put it together for you. You must do the work yourself."

"There has to be something I'm not understanding because I'm not getting it."

You got that right, buddy, is what I'm thinking. "You mean like a trick or a shortcut? There is no secret being kept from you. You have to work the program. You do the work."

"Reading, praying and having someone tell me what to do is not going to keep me sober." he states. "There has to be more to it."

"Have you ever tried doing those things?" I ask sweetly.

"No."

"Have you been able to stay sober?"

"No."

"Why don't you try them, then? What do you have to lose? You've already said you can't manage to stay sober with what you are doing now." I want to bash him over the head and pour honesty, open-mindedness and willingness into his brain through the wound. These are the three essential components of sobriety.

"Thanks for talking", he says, clearly frustrated with me.

Sadly, I watch him walk away. He, as well as those that care for him, have suffered greatly at the hands of alcohol, yet the suffering is not over. He hasn't had enough pain and misery to be able to let go of the booze.

So I wish him pain. Not because I want him hurt, but because I want him to be desperate enough to have a chance at achieving and maintaining sobriety. Before alcohol kills him. Pain or death are the only choices left for him. And there are still those that believe alcoholism is a matter of willpower.

Have a good and sober day.