Analyyyzer Day 310.4

Analyyyzer

\ANAL-why?why?why?-zer\
noun
Meaning

: an adult that consistently responds to any statement or explanation by asking, "But, why?"; one who convinces him/herself that they are looking for information when in reality they want to stay focused on the problem; a major irritant to sponsors and other mentors

Last night, at a meeting for the recovery program ETA. we read one of those daily meditations that is full of warm and fuzzy concepts. Personally I struggle with too much warm and fuzzy crap because it might sound great but it's all about thinking and none about how to apply the concepts to your life.

Now, seriously, have you ever met a recovering alcoholic, or any analyyyzer for that matter, who needs encouragement to think? Especially about concepts? What do the people who write such drivel have against sponsors or other mentors? That's what I want to know. (If I ever met one I'd ask them but they'd probably have to think about it!)

The meditation last night talked about a kid being branded as a troublemaker. The kid's behavior was disruptive to the environment both at home and at school. (In my experience, kid and disruptive are synonymous.) The meditation went on to chastise the adults in this kid's life for not taking the time to figure out why the kid was disruptive. I'm sure the kid grew up to be an axe murderer (though the meditation didn't say so) all because the adults never threw the kid on a fainting couch and examined him until he punched one of them. Or died of a "WHY?" overdose.

Not a single thing was mentioned about telling the kid to knock it off. Not a single thing was mentioned about telling the kid to be disruptive on the playground and not in the classroom or house. Instead, we were encouraged to think the parents, teachers and every other adult that had ever heard this kid's name were negligent for not determining why the kid acted this way.

Oh, okay. We've decided who is at fault for this kid so our job is done. Here, have some guilt; the gift that keeps on giving. We resolve the whole thing by pointing fingers. How helpful. Can you believe that any one even thought this was a great experience, not to mention went on to publish it? What kind of cuckoo clock would think this was beneficial to any body?

How about this: Let's give the kid some other ways to express whatever emotion is overwhelming him? Or say to the kid, "When you start feeling those real strong feelings, I want you to tell me. I will get you some empty cans to crush until you feel better." Or a phone book to tear up. Or some bubble wrap to pop. Or some sticks to break.

That would be taking action. That would be teaching the kid to manage his emotions. That would be finding a solution. Which doesn't include figuring out why. Because knowing why isn't about resolving anything.

Have a good and sober day.