Push It

A saying: "Each day of life is a gift from the old HP. What you do with it is your gift to Him."

A story: The old HP asked this really strong dude, Ken, to push on a boulder as hard as possible and to keep pushing until the old HP told him to stop. Ken pushed and pushed for days. Finally, the old HP came and told him that he could stop pushing. Ken apologized to the old HP saying, "I did the very best I could and I was unable to move the boulder. I am a failure. I am not worthy of Your love and mercy." The old HP replied, "I didn't ask you to move the rock. I asked you to push it."

Well, duh. Blending the two above messages helps me have an accurate perspective on the goals for each day. I don't know about you but (upon rare occasion) I have judged myself on the outcome, rather than the effort required, when doing the next right thing. In the recovery program ETA we are taught that we are to do the footwork and leave the outcome up to the old HP.

Sometimes I jump to conclusions about the desired outcome and focus on achieving that goal. This causes me to direct the footwork to my chosen outcome and I have no business deciding what the old HP wants. Believe it or not, He does not consult with me on His plans for the day. (Which is a shame because I've got some great ideas and lots of opinions.) I believe He wants me to stay clean and sober. Beyond that I'm guessing.

When I choose the gift of my day, it's really a sneaky way for me to try and run the show again. It is the bud of believing that I really do know what's best. I'd better nip that bud immediately. All kinds of ugly things happen when I start believing those lies.


There are days when the old HP just wants me to push. As long as I do that to the best of my ability, I'm in alignment with His will. The days when I struggle to stay clean and sober and not practice too many defects of character are the best gifts to the old HP. Those are the days that I really need to keep Him close. They strengthen my faith and my sobriety. And they help me to understand another saying:
"The sin is never in the trying and failing. The sin is always in the not trying at all."

Have a good and sober day.