Altered Slogans

Since it feels to me as though things have gotten a tad too heavy, I decided to lighten up a bit and tell you a story:

A friend of mine and I were having dinner out one night after a meeting. Over the past weekend we had attended our state AA Convention, where there were many speakers from all over the US, a fancy dinner and a dance. During the weekend there were also many little shops where one could buy t-shirts and sweat shirts that had AA slogans printed on them. Being as we are both alcoholics, my friend and I felt that we could modify, and therefore improve, these slogans. Here are a few of our ideas.

Half measures avail us nothing - give 51%

Does "Freedom from Bondage" mean that I have to get rid of all those toys in the closet?

If I'm working the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, which is a program of action, why am I not a size 4?

Sober does not have an "M" in it. That would be somber, and we ain't that.

I'm allergic to alcohol; I break out in handcuffs whenever I drink.

"Lead us not into temptation" ain't just a line in a prayer.

I've already hit my bottom. Would you like me to hit yours?

I'll probably spend eternity in Heck. I've been to Hell and I know how to escape.

...Our leaders are but Twisted Serpents, they do not govern...

... If you want what we have and are willing to go to any weight to get it...

I don't stand at the "Turning Point". It's more like a "Sit and Spin".

The Few, The Proud, The Sick. I belong.


Have a good and sober day.