Daily Reflections

October 20 is my favorite reading in the "Daily Reflections" meditation book. I started paying special attention to this reading while still in my first year of sobriety as a kind of joke between myself and another woman in early recovery. She had a new puppy that was eating her socks and dragging the rest of the laundry all over the house. This really had her riled up. The reading says something like " ...despite frustration, he couldn't get angry because that is the nature of puppies..."

As the puppy became older and had some training his behavior improved markedly and we quit teasing about it. Next year, when October 20 came around, I was listening with a new pair of ears and realized there was much direction for me about redefining my relationship with God.

I believed that God was an Entity hiding behind a cloud while pointing a radar gun at me to make sure all of my sins were recorded. That way nothing would go unnoticed and I'd be paying for each an every indiscretion I'd ever done, said or thought of. For some reason, this concept of God made me hesitate to turn my will and my life over to His care. Go figure. For whatever reason, I believed that God expected me to be flawless and there was no chance that was ever going to happen. I was doomed before I had even started.

It was the calming concept of God relayed in this meditation that started me on the path of understanding my Higher Power in a new way, a way that has me wanting Him to be a part of my life. He puts up with my imperfections because I am exactly the way He wants me to be today. He also loves me because of my flaws, not in spite of them. Which has made it much easier to come to Him with my problems. It is the only way for me to stay sober.

This reading has had such an impact on me sober journey that I once brought it up as the topic of discussion for an AA meeting. Literal minded alcoholics are so delightful! Several people said that they either didn't like puppies or that they'd never had a puppy. Despite frustration, I had to laugh because that's the nature of alcoholics and I am one. For me, the meditation has nothing to do with puppies, it's about changing my concept of God and letting Him help me accept myself no matter the shortcomings and strengths He had blessed me with.

Have a good and sober day.