Any Length

I was asked if I was willing to go to any length to stay clean and sober when I started working the Alcoholics Anonymous program and I said that I was willing. I was told that the old HP would not give me any more than I could handle so long as I kept in close contact with Him on a daily basis and I have tried my best to do so.

My mother has dementia and became violent with my dad on October 27th and again on October 29th. My siblings and I admitted my mom to a nursing home on October 31st.

On November 2nd, we were called to the nursing home because my mom became violent with the staff. My sister went over expecting to take my mom to the hospital for evaluation but got beat up by my mom instead. Mom was sedated and the crisis passed.

November 3rd, my sister and I called an ambulance when my dad fell and he was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia, anemia and dehydration. My siblings and I were in the ER with him for most of the evening and we talked about some of the fun times we had all had and we laughed a lot. It was even kind of fun in between examinations, blood tests and X-rays.

The morning of November 4 th, my brother-in-law, my sister's husband, was admitted to the same hospital with chronic health issues. In the afternoon, I went to see my dad and he had on a fancy breathing mask and was totally out of it. He had been restless earlier and they had given him a tranquilizer to help him relax so that he could breathe easier. He was now unresponsive. We called the family in. The doctor came and agreed to give my dad the antidote for the tranquilizer and my dad began to respond somewhat when we talked to him, but he was mostly asleep. Still, the crisis passed and we went home briefly then returned to spend the night at the hospital.

On Thursday, November 5th, at 1:30 in the morning, my dad died. My sister and I were on the bed with him and he died in our arms. I am grateful for that. The rest of the day is a blur of grief.

Friday was spent making funeral arrangements. My dad had taken care of this before he died, but there were still details to attend to: flowers to order, viewing and funeral times to be set, an obituary to be written and sent to the newspaper, people to be notified, etc. In the evening, my mom attacked one of the nurses and was admitted to the hospital for medication adjustments. My brother-in-law became more confused, he was having dangerous heart rhythms and it looked like his kidneys were failing.

Out of town relatives began to arrive on Saturday and we had to meet with them.

Sunday was the viewing and the funeral was Monday. There were recovering alcoholics there to support me and I am humbled by the number of people that came to comfort me at one or both of the services. I'm so thankful to be a part of this wonderful fellowship.

My brother-in-law was released from the hospital on Monday.

On Wednesday, my mom had some sort of swoon and her heart stopped. We were called to the hospital because they thought she was dying. Her heart started again on it's own and she seemed to become more stable.

On Thursday, one week after my dad died, we started remodeling the bathroom at my parent's house so that we would have the necessary equipment to care for my mom when we brought her home for weekends and the upcoming holidays. She was weaker and less steady after her swoon.

On Friday, my sister called an ambulance for her husband after she found him delirious and unable to stand up. He was readmitted to the hospital that morning and my mom was discharged to the nursing home in the early evening. there was some confusion about her medication changes and her discharge orders, but we got her settled in eventually.

Everyone tried to rest over the weekend and on Monday, we got started on the business aspects of my father's death.

Last night, we went over to my sisters for dinner and decision making. At 10:30 p.m., we got a call from the nursing home asking when we were going to get my mom's new medications to them. (My brother had attended to this on Friday when mom returned to the nursing home.) These are the meds that keep her from becoming violent and mom hasn't had them for 4 days now. If she becomes violent again, the nursing home will ask that she be removed from the facility.

And you know what? I'm clean and sober. In the midst of all this I've called my sponsor frequently, read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, spoken to another alcoholic every day, gone to meetings and maintained a conscious contact with the old HP. Because I am still willing to go to any length for my sobriety. And the old HP hasn't given me more than I can handle, although He's getting close.

Have a good and sober day.