Not Drinking

Not drinking was the most difficult thing for me in early sobriety. There were other challenges too, but trying to not pick up a drink was the biggest problem. Drinking was a part of every day living for me; it was part of my identity. I'd drank for so long, I wasn't sure how to get through a single daily action without a glass in my hand. Most people were impaired when they drank. I was impaired when I didn't.

Nothing was easy when I was sober. It was necessary for me to take a leave of absence from work for the first few weeks of sobriety because I could not have functioned at my job, but what was I to do with all this extra time on my hands? Since I was home throughout the day the house got messier, dishes and laundry piled up and quickly became overwhelming. I'd always drink when I puttered about the house doing these little chores and had no idea how to complete these simple things now.

The only time I felt comfortable during the early phase of sobriety was when I was at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I was fortunate enough to have gotten sober in a large city with a lot of AA meetings and we had a sobriety club that was open, meeting time or not, for most of the day. This was very helpful but, sooner or later, I had to go home and that thought filled me with anxiety. Why couldn't I just move into the club house? I'd be okay without a bed or a shower....

Hanging out with other alcoholics during the day and evening helped me to get to know others who were trying to live sober lives. I learned that even those with many years in AA needed to spend time with other sober alcoholics. I also learned the AA lingo. (This had confused me at first.) And I learned that many of us need to be taught how to perform tasks sober. I was not alone! (This phrase took on a special meaning for me after that.)

A kindly old-timer helped me figure out a daily schedule that wasn't too taxing but also didn't give me much time to think or be alone with my thoughts. This was of tremendous help for me. We had written the schedule down and I made a copy for the front of my refrigerator and one for my wallet. The schedule helped me to break big jobs into a series of manageable tasks: put the dishes into soak and wash the glasses. Take a 10 minute break. Dry the glasses and put them away. Take a 10 minute break. Wash the plates and silverware. Take a 10 minute break. Dry plates and silverware and put them away. Take a 10 minute break. Wash the pots and pans. Take a 10 minute break. Dry the pots and pans and put them away. When the dishes were done, I was to reward myself somehow; watching a favorite TV show, take a nap, go to an AA mtg., eat a cookie, etc.

Everything was broken down into time segments I could easily handle. If there was a chore that couldn't be broken down, grocery shopping for example, I either took a friend to the grocery with me or asked someone to pick up a few items for me and drop them off at my home. In this very basic way I learned how to live sober one moment at a time, which is what I needed to do in order to stay sober one day at a time.

Have a good and sober day.