Monday, November 30, 2009

Forgivness

Developing a relationship with a Higher Power, whom I choose to call the old HP, has really been an experience in changing my mind, attitude and outlook. Before I began this spiritual journey, I thought that forgiving someone meant that I sanctioned or okay-ed the words or actions that had hurt me. Uhhh, excuse me, but it is never okay to hurt me. In reality if you hurt me a few times, or if you hurt me badly, I'm very likely to teach you a painful lesson about that type of unacceptable behavior (AKA - treat you to an educational experience).



The old HP is famous for His ability to forgive and, since I was trying to be friends with Him, I figured that I might have to adopt new attitudes about forgiveness. 'My way or the highway' probably wasn't classified as forgiveness, even though this is the old HP's approach to a few things. Things like you can't kill people and don't take His name in vain; stuff like that. But how was I going to be able to forgive people for the wrongs they had done me? I was much better at getting even....



Since the old HP seemed to be the expert when it came to forgiveness, I talked it over with Him. The thought came, "...forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..." Yeah, okay, I know the Lords Prayer. Could you give me a little more guidance on this?



"Have you ever hurt someone?" Well, yeah. Hasn't everyone? "There you go. Do you expect the person you hurt to forgive you?" Uhh.... That's different. Most of the time I never meant to hurt anybody. Usually, I didn't consider that they might be hurt. It never even occurred to me. "Can you accept that others might have felt the same? That they didn't consider your feelings before they said or did something? That you or your feelings just might not be at the center of their thoughts, words and actions?" Hey! I'm not that selfish and self centered! Hardly ever! Almost never! Well, most of the time, I'm not.



Thus began my learning to forgive. Simply by accepting that other people might possibly have had a crisis in their life, not slept well last night or be worried about a job or loved one. Giving other people permission to have a bad day without taking it personally. Knowing that other people are human, just like me, and accepting that we all make mistakes. If I can overlook your quirks and love you anyway, well, then, perhaps you would do the same for me. Most of the time, it really is just that simple.

Have a good and sober day.

No comments:

Post a Comment