Nagging

The last two weeks I have been a blog slug. New posts are supposed to come out once a week minimum and there has been nothing new since July. I know it and so does the old HP - in fact, He has sent people to comment on it. I could be wrong, but I think He's giving me a hint.

Nobody nags like the old HP. Have you ever considered this? Seriously considered this? I have known for quite some time that turning one's will and life over to, and improving conscious contact with, the old HP opens the door for nagging. Once the door is opened, the old HP smiles brightly and waltzes right in. And stays. For as long as you keep talking to Him.

Nobody ever mentioned this to me back when I was new to recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction and I was too inexperienced to ask. How come nobody tells us about the consequences of working and living the steps of ETA? My sponsor led the way, rather like the pied piper, and I pranced right along behind her, dancing joyfully, filled with blissful ignorance. No wonder alcoholics and addicts have trust issues! There ought to be a law against this type of deception. Too bad ETA is an anonymous program.

Avoiding doing what the old HP's wants you to do is called Willful Disobedience. And doesn't that sound like a good idea? (I tried that before. It didn't go well.) I prefer to call it procrastination because it sounds better. The old HP doesn't do semantics. He hounds me about doing what He wants me to do no matter what I call it.

He's relentless! It's not like I can hang up on Him. I can't get away. I'm too scared of boozing and using again to throw Him out. I can't slam the door in His (face for the same reason). Even while I'm sleeping, the old HP fixes it so that I dream about whatever it is He wants me to do. How fair is that? Plus, he can sic other humans on me to 'politely mention' how much they, in this case, are looking forward to a new post. That is just down right sneaky. The sad part is that it's also very effective. At this point I just give in. I call it self defense.

Have a good and sober day.