Parasitism/Step 1

 Here is the concept I explain to the ETA pigeons I help and/or work with.  This comes before actual step one work and I make sure the concept is fully understood before we go any further.  If, after reading this, you don't understand, please ask.

Alcoholism is what I have; it is not what I am. I am not a disease, I am a person with a disease. For example:  I may have epilepsy but that is not what I am.  I  have heart disease but I am not heart disease.  I may have cancer, but I am not cancer. I am an alcoholic or an epileptic, as the case may be, and will remain an alcoholic/epileptic for the rest of my life.

With this thought in mind:  Think back to 4th grade science class. You might remember learning about parasites. (If you don't remember, look it up!) What is the goal of a parasite? To kill the host. What is the goal of alcoholism? To kill the host.

I try to separate myself from the disease. I will always be an alcoholic, but the image of a parasite gives me a wee bit of distance to help me see my disease more clearly. Being mentally and spiritually apart from the disease allows me to be on guard against the cunning, baffling and powerful aspects of alcoholism which start causing trouble in the guise of alcoholic thinking (AKA stinking thinking).  Since I sometimes have a problem differentiating truths from falsehoods it is easy for me to fall into stinking thinking.  This is why I go to ETA meetings and work with a sponsor.  Hint.

The concept of a parasite also enhances the truth of alcoholism being a disease. This was tough for me to grasp in early sobriety because I believed I was bad, not sick. My parasite wants me to believe this self defeating kind of thing.

Separating me from alcoholism allows me to ask myself weather my thoughts are feeding me or the parasite of alcoholism. Of course, I ask the old HP to help out with this process. I believe He is the One that puts the question, "Who are you feeding with this kind of thinking?", into my head when needed. He is also the One that can help me change my thinking.  Sometimes He sends my sponsor or husband to help me change my thinking ("You ARE planning on hitting a meeting today aren't you? love this).  Sometimes He sends me to a meeting.

Be aware that when you pull a parasite loose, there might be some tender spots exposed.  These will scab over and heal quickly.  You will soon be able to figure out what this looks like and tell your pigeon "Guess that tentacle was attached deep.  Your parasite didn't like letting go of that one!"  This kind of response tends to help the pigeons that I work with see their disease of alcoholism as something that hurts them.  Which, indeed, it is.

Have a good and sober day.