Boundaries

Have you ever been to a meeting where the topic has been boundaries? I've been to lots of them. Mostly those mandatory workshop type meetings about self esteem, but also at much less formal gatherings like having coffee. Identifying boundaries, setting boundaries, keeping boundaries, anything you want or need to know about boundaries. Except one. Respecting an other's boundaries. I had a conversation yesterday which sparked the topic for today.

A friend has been going through a difficult time with one of those life things that take forever to get a handle on and then look for ways to resolve them. Things like a divorce, financial disaster, chronic health issues, loss of employment, etc. Love those things, don't you? They can keep me occupied for the better part of a year or, if I'm really lucky, maybe even a decade!! Anyway, the friend and I hadn't talked in a few weeks so yesterday we caught each other up on what's been happening in our lives.

Those of you that know me, know that I'm just here to help. If you come to me with a problem then, by golly, I'll figure out a way to assist you. Sometimes, I'll help out before you even realize you have a problem. In fact, I'll help you to within an inch of your life! That is just the kind of gal I am. My family and friends are sooooo lucky, don't you think?!

But yesterday, my friend and I talked about her ongoing situation for a bit. Of course, I had lots of suggestions for her; even some I hadn't yet voiced, when she said, "I'm done talking about this now. I want to talk about cheerful things. Things we can laugh about." I must have been feeling less helpful than usual because I not only heard what she said, I listened and then did as she asked. Sure enough, we were soon laughing and the day was lighter when we hung up than it had been when she first called.

Often I'm astonished by how little it takes to be considerate and respectful of another person. It seems that it can be as simple as listening to someone else's boundaries and putting away my own agenda. Maybe next time the subject of boundaries comes up I'll toss respecting another persons boundaries into the mix and see what happens. It's a rather new concept for me. How about you?

Have a good and sober day.