Computers

My computer is being bad to me for NO reason and I'm about ready to scream obscenities. I doubt that would have any positive effect towards improving it's behavior, but I have no other option being as I'm just barely computer literate. So! If something goes wrong with today's post you will know that it isn't my fault, it's the computer's fault. I'm an alcoholic; nothing is ever my fault...

The frustrations of this morning bring to mind one of my earliest memories in recovery, so that is what today's post will be about. Tragically, this is not the first recalcitrant (obstinate troublemaker) computer I've ever had the misfortune to know. Here is what happened:

I was trying to write a letter on the computer and it kept doing things that I didn't want it to do. Every time I wanted to start a new line, it double spaced; it also kept adding bullets and indenting; if I tried to fix a misspelling it kept erasing the wrong part of the word. I was so frustrated that I was close to tears. Short of yelling 'Stop It!!!' , I had no idea how to fix this misbehavior.

The recovery program ETA says that I should turn Every Thing (part of the reason I call the program Every Thing Anonymous) over to a Higher Power. Once I thought of it, I turned the sociopathic computer over to Him. There! That will teach the computer a thing or two! (I still believed in a punishing God at this time.)

I sat back, folded my arms across my chest and entertained myself with visions of falling computer monitors, exploding computers, lightening strikes, that sort of thing. I was anticipating the full 'Wrath Of God' that would happen right before my very eyes. I was kind of looking forward to it, honestly. (Recovering substance abusers are just so cute when they are new, don't you think?) After a very few moments, the thought came to me:

"A computer works on logic. You are an alcoholic. What in the world makes you think you can work together?" I have no idea if anything else was said. The roar of anger was so loud in my head, I thought I would explode. I went to the phone and called my sponsor to tattle on God. By the time I hung up, we were both laughing about it. And guess what? A computer still works on logic and I'm still an alcoholic so we are going to continue having trouble relating to each other. But already I feel better about it. Thanks.

Have a food and sober day.