Analyyyzer 210

Analyyyzer

\ANAL-why?why?why?-zer\
noun
Meaning

: an adult that consistently responds to any statement or explanation by asking, "But, why?"; one who convinces him/herself that they are looking for information when in reality they want to stay focused on the problem; a major irritant to sponsors and other mentors

An analyyyzer who has read the Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous", can really present a challenge when it comes to helping them achieve sobriety. Usually they have memorized a phrase or two from the Big Book and then try to fit whatever they are discussing into the category of one of these phrases.

Once an analyyyzer gets a thought in their head, they often need to have it forcefully removed. If the phrase was met with approval even one single time, it's probably going to require a surgical procedure for extraction. This is why newly sober people are encouraged to read the Big Book with a sponsor. There is less likelihood of them latching on to a group of words that has caught their fancy. Reading by themselves, analyyyzers find sayings and turn them into the Universal Explanation and Solution to everything.

For example, I was once talking with a gal who had several attempts at working the recovery program ETA yet never stayed sober more than a few months at a time. Her biggest defect of character was "false pride". In fact, it was her only defect of character. I know this is true because she told me it was. No matter what problems she encountered in her daily life, "false pride" was the culprit. We could get nowhere in working the steps because she refused to budge from this belief.

I believed she needed to admit she was an alcoholic and find a Higher Power of her own understanding, but what I believed didn't matter. She was convinced she knew the problem and that she would be healed if she could master this defect. When I pointed out that it usually worked better if you did the steps in the order they were presented, she said. "Look, I've been around the ETA program for longer than you've been sober. I know what I'm talking about."

Then there was the one who latched on to the phrase "design for living". She believed that if she could just find the right "design for living" the mysterious spirit of sobriety would overcome, and thus transform, her. If she could solve the puzzle of "design for living" she would no longer be alcoholic.

She asked many people how they developed their "design for living". Most of them answered "By working and living the steps." This was not the answer she was looking for; she wanted cold hard facts! "Get a sponsor, read the Big Book, got to ETA meetings and work the steps with your sponsor." Convinced we were holding out on her or, perhaps, lying outright, she became exasperated, claiming, "The recovery program ETA doesn't work for me."

"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today." This is another favorite that is spouted a lot and often has no relevance to the situation at hand. Not only by newcomers, either. People who have been sober for years and years will say it totally out of context, too. The truth is this: Not everything is acceptable. Should you wish to know more about how I feel about acceptance, read some of my earlier posts.

The phrase I hear most often (maybe the acceptance BS is number 1, I'm not quite sure) is: "Can't tell the true from the false". We are alcoholics, for crying out loud! We have a disease of perception! We are known to be liars. We are known to lie to ourselves until we believe the lie. We massage our memories until the facts are unrecognizable by anyone else that might have been present.

When working with a pigeon they often say, as a way to explain their behavior, "Do you think maybe I couldn't tell the true from the false when this happened?" Uhhhh..... Most of us still struggle with this upon occasion. Visual proof is the weakest proof of all and we tend to believe what we see. Even what we see is shaded by our emotions. This is why we encourage sponsorship. It's probably the reason the first word in the first step is "We". Those of us in ETA need each other to stay sober and be rational while we do so. Think about it!!

No, no! On second thought, don't.

Have a good and sober day.