Analyyyzer 210.4

Analyyyzer

\ANAL-why?why?why?-zer\
noun
Meaning

: an adult that consistently responds to any statement or explanation by asking, "But, why?"; one who convinces him/herself that they are looking for information when in reality they want to stay focused on the problem; a major irritant to sponsors and other mentors

Although there are a lot of analyyyzers in the recovery program ETA, we do not have a corner on the market. Analyyyzers can be normies (non addicted people), too, and can be just as irritating to try to communicate with as anyone else.

Most of the people in the recovery program ETA have tried to explain our disease to a normie at one time or another. Don't be lured into this trap. Remember, analyyyzers believe themselves to be intellectually superior to everyone else. Explaining anything to an analyyyzer can be exhausting. Explaining alcoholism or addiction to someone who is convinced no concept is too difficult to thoroughly comprehend can be frustrating enough to bring you to violence or tears. Know this: They simply will not get it. Period.

The minimal chance of success is the very thing that draws alcoholics to this activity. We like living on the edge and we like overcoming impossible odds so almost everyone of us has jumped into the ring, to wrangle with the goal of making a normie understand alcoholism, at one time or another.

Emerging battered and bloody, not to mention unsuccessful, we finally concede the match. The result is like that old philosophical question: "What happens when something that cannot be stopped collides with something that cannot be moved?" I don't know either, but I expect it is really ugly.

Unless you try to explain alcoholism to a normie for sport. Now there's a good time!! What fun to engage in a pointless conversation with someone determined to grasp the unattainable.

Tell them they won't understand our sense of humor and they insist they will. I like to tell them alcoholic jokes, like the stuff in meetings that have us laughing out loud. For example, I tell them I'm allergic to alcohol; whenever I drink, I break out in handcuffs. They will stare at me in puzzlement. The look on their face makes me laugh even harder at the joke. Or I'll say that I got to the recovery program ETA on the honor system. "Yes, your Honor. I will go to those meetings." Again with the blank stare that sets me off into a spasm of laughter. Sometimes I'll even point at them while I do so.

I just keep on with the joking comments until they walk away, disgusted. They are convinced alcoholics are insane (which we are; step 2 tells us so) and I'm delighted at the opportunity to baffle an analyyyzer. From that moment on, it is highly unlikely that particular analyyyzer will ever ask me to talk about my disease ever again.

Isn't sobriety wonderful?

Have a good and sober day.