Step Three

As we come to the end of March, and it has yet to be discussed, we probably ought to give some thought and discussion to step 3. The recovery program ETA has 12 steps and we, somewhat loosely, tie the corresponding step to each month. Step 3 suggests that we turn our will (thoughts) and our lives (actions) over to the care of a Higher Power of our own understanding.

This means that it doesn't matter to us who/what your Higher Power is, but it needs to matter to you. As long as you realize there is a Power greater than you, you are good to go. Most of us think of this Power as God but I've known several people that find the power of the sober fellowship is greater than they are as individuals and they have stayed sober for years and years. Simply put; There is a Higher Power and it is not you.

You may call this Power whatever you wish. I, myself, prefer to call Him the old HP. (Yes, I said Him, and I don't want to hear any of that feminist crap. Your Higher Power can be what you prefer. Mine is a 'Him'.) Since my old HP is a living being, when I share my experience it is that of belief in God.

Moving on; The purpose of step 3 is to build a solid, working relationship with the old HP. Most of us do not come into recovery with a good spiritual connection. We either never had one or we abandoned such connections during our boozing and using days. Rekindling a spiritual life was a difficult task for me. It took several months to develop a rapport with the old HP. It took several years to trust Him. The relationship with the old HP, like any relationship, takes spending time together and frequent communication. Frequent means several times a day in this relationship, particularly.

The recovering women that I sponsor know this: The old HP made us alcoholics, for whatever reason. We had to have the boozing and using, and all the experiences that came with it, in order to work His plan for us. We not responsible for having the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction, but we are responsible for doing what is necessary to manage the disease by staying clean and sober. This, I believe and teach newcomers, is what it all comes down to:

Sooner or later you must forgive yourself for being what the old HP made you to be.

Have a good and sober day.