Sex

That's right, boys and girls, we are going to talk about sex. Well, I'm going to write about it and you are going to read about it, but you get the idea. This posting is about sex in general. Specific sex issues ought to be discussed with a sponsor or another trusted mentor. Specific sex matters should not be discussed at meeting level or any public forum.

There have been many different sex issues brought to me over the past several days and that usually means it is a topic that needs to be addressed. I'm not going to air my sentiments about who, how often, sexual orientation, acrobatics, when, with what toys or how many sex partners I think someone should have. It is none of my business. The only sex relationship I care about is the one I share with my husband, which is none of your business.

Most of us in the recovery program ETA have had sex problems in the past and many of us still struggle with these issues when we come into recovery. Surprise!! Take away the boozing and using and we still have the same behaviors and problems as we did when we were drinking.

I do believe that, if we are not in a committed relationship when we come into recovery, we should avoid this type of entanglement until we have worked the steps with a sponsor and have some idea of who we are. We are instant gratification people and sex is gratifying. Sobriety by injection doesn't work. Feeling good and doing good are not necessarily the same thing. Talk these things over with your sponsor.

When we are ready to develop a romantic relationship I believe we should keep it simple and remember these two things:
1. Love is when I'm looking to give to a relationship. Lust is when I'm looking to get something from a relationship.
2. If I can't invite the old HP into the bedroom with me, I don't belong there either.

Have a good and sober day.