Powerless Over Alcohol

Step one in the recovery program ETA states: We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and drugs and that our lives have become unmanageable. We must admit defeat at the hands of boozing and using before we search for a resolution. Nobody solves a life problem they don't have. Who changes their playmates, their playthings and their playgrounds if they don't have to?

In working step one, I conceded to my inner most self that alcohol controlled me, I did not control alcohol. Once I put a mind altering substance into my body, I have no idea what I will do, where I will go or who I will be with. This is pretty much standard practice for working step one. But, you know, I'm pretty much powerless over alcohol/drugs whether they are in me or in anybody else.


During active addiction our friends and lovers tend to be boozers and users so, when we first get to recovery, our friends and lovers tend to be boozers and users. I know that you are stunned by this revelation but, really: Who else would put up with us?

Then the course of recovery usually goes like this: We have been sober for 2 weeks and we try to get the friend and/or lover to get sober with us. We love the sober life so much and things are so wonderful we want to share it with them. Not only that, but they are really in a bad way with their addiction and we have 2 weeks, 2 Whole Weeks, 14 DAYS!!! sober and can lovingly guide them to happiness in sobriety. We know all about it.

Of course, the friend/lover doesn't want to get sober; they don't think that they have a problem. Since there is no problem, they don't need a solution. We try to convince them of their problem and they stubbornly refuse to agree. We become frustrated and start nagging them about boozing and using. They start ignoring us.

We become restless, irritable and discontent. We are now so focused on their problem that we completely lose sight of our own. The disease of alcoholism loves it when we do this. It is rather like 'when the cat is away, the mouse will play'. We spend all of our serenity trying to make someone do something they simply don't want to do and our kit of spiritual tools is empty. We are now stark raving sober and it shows.

The next time we are with our friend/lover, they booze or use right in front of us, offer some to us and we take it. We have relapsed and now nobody is sober. And it's all their fault, those big poop heads!

No. We are powerless over alcohol/drugs whether they are in our own selves or in anyone else. We can't get anybody else sober. We can't get ourselves sober, for that matter, which is why we need the fellowship of ETA to help us. This is why we attend ETA meetings. It is why we must change our boozing and using playmates for sober ones.

Have a good and sober day.