Analyyyzer Day! 510.3

Analyyyzer

\ANAL-why?why?why?-zer\
noun
Meaning

: an adult that consistently responds to any statement or explanation by asking, "But, why?"; one who convinces him/herself that they are looking for information when in reality they want to stay focused on the problem; a major irritant to sponsors and other mentors

Even though people have been irritating the world by practicing analyyyzing behaviors since Adam and Eve (I think that serpent said: "Do you know why you aren't supposed to eat the apples from this tree?"), the word itself has only been around for about 18 months. I know this for a fact because that is when I made it up.

There certainly seems to be a plethora of analyyyzers no matter where in the world you might be. Even if they don't speak the same language as you they are irritating. In the recovery program ETA I have encountered a zillion of them, although alcoholics do not have a corner on the market. They are everywhere. These are the people that have pledged lifetime devotion to the guru of "Ultimate Understanding and Self Actualization".

Last night I, along with a pigeon of mine, attended an ETA meeting. There was a woman there, Barbie, who had relapsed and she wanted to know why she had done so, so that was our topic of discussion. My pigeon Midge, bless her little heart, suggested that analyyyzing the situation was counter productive. Beating herself up had never resulted in anything positive but, rather, only made her feel worse.

Barbie, being uniformed on a variety of issues, didn't know what analyyyzing was so Midge told her: "It is when you get so deep into figuring out why, why, why that you can't move forward to a solution to the problem." She went on to explain that mistakes are going to happen. If you don't get some idea of how to prevent recurrence the same mistakes are going to happen over and over. Midge then reminded the group that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity. I was so proud. Midge also said that analyyyzers irritate a sponsors, and an irritated sponsor can make life really difficult. I was a little misty eyed. Just think: a newcomer with a few months of sobriety carrying the message. What could be more beautiful?

That is what made me realize that perhaps some of you don't understand the meaning of the word analyyyzer and I ought to explain it, even though the definition heads the post. A little clarification is always good. Should you encounter an analyyyzer and need guidance on how to handle them, feel free to contact me. If you are an analyyyzer yourself, don't.

Have a good and sober day.