Early On

The other day my friend, Barbie, told me about something that had happened to her friend, Midge. I found the whole thing to be rather delightful and asked Midge if I could share it as a post for the blog. She agreed and I hope you find it as charming as I do.

Midge was very new to the recovery program ETA. In fact, she was looking to attend only her second or third ETA meeting. Remember, a newly recovering alcoholic/drug addict is still somewhat befuddled. Of course, Midge had never been to this particular meeting. She was coming straight from work and was running a tad late. She was also starving. A recipe for fun if there ever was one.

Newcomers usually plan to be one of the last people in the door to an ETA meeting, but they sure don't want to be late! Those first few days of not drinking are so laden with anxiety: you've stopped drinking (and/or using) the only coping skill you know, you feel alone in the world, you are embarking one of the biggest life changes there is (without instructions!!) and you are trying to learn a new language - recovery jargon. To walk into a meeting late and have everyone stare at you (as well as judge you unfavorably, you know) would simply be too much.

Practically the only thing Midge remembered from her first ETA meeting was that she wasn't supposed to get too tired or hungry. And she was starving. What would happen if her stomach growled during the meeting and someone heard it? Everyone would know she had let herself get hungry and who knows what would happen then? Better to swing by a drive through and take the food with her into the meeting. Then everyone would know how well she was behaving.

I remember thinking like this. Although it wasn't funny at the time, today I find this kind of thought processing hilarious! I didn't yet realize that ETA meetings are filled with people known to be self-centered. We aren't thinking about you! We are too busy thinking about ourselves to do much more than simply notice you! And we might not even do that much! I love recovering alcoholics and addicts.

Back to Midge. Food in hand, she enters the only occupied room she sees. The meeting has already started. Dang. Midge finds a seat quickly and unwraps her dinner quietly. She begins to eat her burger and fries. People are throwing her dirty looks. Okay, Midge thinks, I deserve it; I was late. But people keep looking at her. "Where are the friendly people I found at the other ETA meeting?", she wonders. Is it illegal to eat in an ETA meeting? Why didn't anybody just say so? At this point resentment begins to build and Midge starts to respond to the dirty looks by giving dirty looks back at them. Fair enough.

As the meeting finishes, Midge is surprised that they don't close with a prayer. Don't all ETA meetings close with prayer? She asks someone about it. And learns that Weight Watchers meetings, the meeting that Midge had been attending, do not do that.

Have a good and sober day.