Signing Up For Another Day of Sobriety

Have you ever felt like the dump truck of life has shown up and lifted it's bed upon you? That's how I've been feeling lately. There is simply too much going on in my world. In the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, this is described as "daily clamors" (page 12-13) and the writer tells of how easy it is to loose sight of the old HP when this is happening. Boy, has that been true for me!

In order for me to stay clean and sober, I must do a certain few daily actions: pray in the morning, read recovery literature, talk to my sponsor and/or another recovering alcoholic and pray at night. This is one of the first things I learned when I came into the recovery program ETA and began working the steps with a sponsor. And I have seen many people go back to boozing and using after letting this practice go by the way side. Although I haven't quit doing most of these daily actions, my performance of these has gotten a bit sloppy. Luckily, the old HP had a few people capture my waning attention - by telling me I'm becoming less tactful, a lot less tolerant, a little too direct and hurting other people's feelings. These are old behaviors for me and, as such, they are warning signs that tell me I'm stepping off the path of recovery; heading for dangerous ground.

Now I have to get back on track and reapply myself to the discipline of maintaining my sobriety. I don't want to do this; I dislike discipline on principal. I do like being sober, however, and that means I'm willing to do whatever it takes to stay clean and sober. Of all the things I must do, beating myself up is not one of them. That would serve no purpose and would gain me nothing positive. It would also keep me from living in today, which is the only day I need to focus on.

So far, I'm right on schedule with my daily actions for today. I'm grateful to the old HP and to the recovery program ETA for giving me what I need to build a clean and sober life. I'm also grateful for those that love me enough to call me on old behaviors and be honest with what they are seeing develop in me. It's nice to know that you have my back as I pick up the pieces of debris littering my side of the street and reaffirm my commitment to maintaining conscious contact with the old HP and practicing the principles of recovery in all of my affairs. You have taught me how to accept the fact that I am human and make mistakes. You have also taught me how to see that my mistakes are not going to cause the end of the world, get me shunned or cause the old HP to withdraw His love for me. The important thing is that I get up, dust myself off and get right back at doing the next right thing. For that, I am truly grateful.

Have a good and sober day.