Tradition One

In ETA, a recovery program for alcoholics and drug addicts, there are 12 steps designed to show me how to live with me while staying clean and sober. There are also 12 traditions which are designed to show me how to live clean and sober without harming anybody else. The 12 traditions are also designed to keep the members of ETA from ruining a good thing, the recovery program itself. Rather like the Constitution of our great country; if we followed it we wouldn't destroy it. But that's another topic.

ETA's first tradition says that the welfare of everyone in the program has to be our focus; our personal recovery is dependent on ETA unity. By rights, each member ought to become as familiar with working and living the traditions as well as the steps. The following is how I understand and attempt to practice tradition 1.

First, I try not to bad-mouth any ETA meeting or member. It has been my experience that negativity tends to discourage unity. Now, this might just be how I react to information, but hearing how awful something is does not encourage me to bond with it. When someone says, "I went to the XYZ meeting and you can't imagine how sick those people are! Not one of them has decent sobriety and the format!! I've never heard anything like it and I've been to meetings all over the world! The meeting was so chaotic I felt worse when it was over than I felt before it started.", my desire to go to that meeting plummets. Another frequent violation of tradition 1 is when a sponsor or other mentor tells a new-comer to stay away from a certain meeting, person or sobriety club because it/they aren't good enough. Sigh...

A much better approach would be to wait for someone to ask and then state an opinion, making clear that what is being expressed is just an opinion. What I believe is an exception to this is with members who are known for violence and/or 13th stepping (AKA trying to get sobriety by injection). I have alerted new-comers of those with a penchant for such behaviors. What they choose to do with that information is none of my business.

For me, though, the biggest threat to unity is gossip because everyone involved in it is harmed. When I talk bad about another ETA member, I am ashamed of myself and usually end up avoiding 'the scene of the crime', at least temporarily. When I hear bad talk about another ETA member, it changes the way I feel about the subject of the gossip and I lose a bit of respect for the one spreading the gossip. When I'm the subject of gossip, I tend to withdraw from those that have hurt me or, if I don't know who spread the gossip, I withdraw from participating in the meeting. I might still attend but you can bet I'm not going to share from the heart if I even share at all. In each situation everybody loses.

Do I ever violate the essence of the ETA traditions? Sure, I'm human. However, I do try to remember to ask myself if what I'm doing or saying is going to enhance the necessary trust and reliance each member needs to maintain unity. For without unity there will be no sobriety.

Have a good and sober day.