Step Seven/Humility

Most of the members of ETA agree that step seven is about humility. All of our literature for July, the seventh month, relates to and is about humility. Being the Nancy Drew that I am, I have taken a survey of what members of ETA and other 12-step recovery programs think it is and detected that most of us don't really know what humility means. Most of us know what it isn't; it isn't humiliation, but not what it is. And many gave me the manufactured definition of: Humility means that we remain teachable. Gee. Yea. That was helpful, or would be, if I were going back to school, which I am not.

I first stumbled across the concept of humility when I was working the steps with a sponsor and had begun to listen in meetings. I thought I would have true humility when I could listen to another person taking my inventory and not punch their lights out. Doubting that I would ever reach such a lofty ideal, I set out to discover a way around it. For several years now, I've been on a quest for knowledge and understanding. My friends and I have had month long meetings where the only topic was humility. We've done that a couple of times. Believe it or not, I still have some of those same friends.

Not all of us came to the same understanding, but this is what I believe humility to be.

Humility is not denying one's assets, it is giving credit to the old HP who gave you those gifts in the first place. And in accepting those gifts, one also accepts the responsibility of using those gifts to benefit their fellow man.

For example. I am rather articulate; both in speaking and in writing. People have told me so many times and I know this to be true. When someone approaches me, say, after an ETA meeting and tells me that what I said touched their heart, (this really has happened) I don't show false modesty by looking down at the floor, hanging my head and working up a blush at the compliment, stammering out: "Aw, shucks, ma'am. That ain't nuthin'". Nor do I refute the person by saying: "That's not true. You're just saying that to make me feel good." I thank them and tell them that this is one of the gifts the old HP gave to me and I'm glad I could help.

Steps six and seven are about looking inward to discover who I really am. What is true about me. The third step prayer starts, "God, I offer myself to You..." The seventh step prayer starts, "My Creator, I am now willing for You to have all of me, good and bad..." This means that I better be finding out what I'm good at and what I need help with. Only by self-discovery can I willingly be of maximum service to the old HP and my fellow man.

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't want to meet my Creator and have Him say, "What did you do with the gifts I gave you?" only to reply, "What gifts?" Nor do I think it would go well if I responded with something like, "I pretended I didn't have any so that no body would think I was conceited." I'm going to have plenty to answer for without adding chronic, willful disobedience to the mix.

When I work step seven with a pigeon it goes like this. "Barbie, (pigeon) what things do you naturally do well? What do you have a certain knack for doing?" Barbie usually stares at me like this is a trick question and denies she is good at anything. I give her the 'Sponsor Look', we all know this look, and say, "You are good with music."

"Well, yeah, but not that good. I'm not ever going to make money at it."

"Who gives a shit?", I usually snap, exasperated. "How can you use the gift of music to benefit your fellow man? That is what's important in life and especially important in recovery."

"I don't know."

"Music can soothe a troubled mind. Music can bring about happiness. Sharing music with another can create a bond between you. You count music as one of the spiritual tools in your spiritual toolkit. You are probably not the only one to whom music speaks. When you notice someone troubled, share the songs that you have found helpful. Acknowledge that you are blessed with the gift of music then set about using that gift to, perhaps, ease the burdens of someone else. You also like to cook. Make something and bring it to the meeting. Having something special at a meeting just might make somebody feel special."

For me, humility is like 'To Thine Own Self Be True', but on a deeper level. Once we discover our gifts, strengths, assets, etc., we take them to the old HP and ask Him how to apply them to His purpose.

Have a good and sober day.