Church Bulletin

A recent church bulletin included a message from the pastor that started out asking:


"Who are we to have a relationship with God?"


Can you imagine the clamor that would occur if a pastor were to ask, Who are we to have a relationship with our mother?  Or our father?  If I was still addicted to chaos, (and knew how to present such a question in a public forum) I might be tempted to stir that particular pot.  Picture a teenager sitting sullenly at the table while his parents tell him he isn't worthy to share the experiences of his day.  Think about all those empty shelves in the relationship and self-help sections of the bookstores.


Children would be discouraged from bringing their troubles and triumphs to a parent.  Instead, we'd give the kids a big, big Book full of contradictory information and a card that has ten commandments for the kid to abide by, neither of which come with instruction.  His peers might punish him for certain misbehaviors but, other than that, there would be no direction.  We would let him know that someday, but not tell him which day, he will be judged on his screw ups and at that time he will be cast into solitary confinement for eternity or he will be allowed to talk to his parent, but hey!  Until then, have a nice life.


Dazed and confused the child wanders about the world, terrified he will screw up.  There is nothing and no one to guide him.  He can't talk his most private thoughts over with anyone that has experience.  He has no guidance in how to handle the things that trouble him.  Should he mention these things to a friend, he is referred back to the big, big Book and the card with the ten commandments.  How helpful.


Once a week he (and many other isolated people) go to a building to hear about how much a parent loves their children.  They hear how this same parent is documenting every mistake, just waiting to really stick it to them because of said mistakes.  I know that I find this comforting.  How about you?


This is a fairly accurate picture of my life before I got into recovery from alcohol and drug addiction.  Thankfully, ETA taught me the fatal flaw in this type of belief system.  Fatal because feeling isolated, as well as lacking instructions for living life, paved the way for boozing and using.  I dang near killed myself with drugs and alcohol.  I did, however, kill relationships, joy, productivity, a career and anything in which I found pleasure.  But the spark of life had yet to be snuffed out and I survived to get clean and sober.


The old HP, my Higher Power, and I both worked long and hard to reach the relationship we have today.  It is an honest relationship:  I tell Him when I'm not happy with the way He is running things and He shows me when He isn't happy with me.  I let Him know when I'm really happy with the way He is running things and sometimes He lets me help Him.  I seek His guidance and direction and He guides and directs me.  Most of the time I follow His suggestions.  I don't come to the old HP lowly and filled with shame;  I come to Him with my troubles and triumphs and scrape them off my plate onto His.  From there, we attempt to figure things out.  I know that I am not perfect, just as I know He doesn't expect me to be.


I already know how to feel like the scum of the earth; I don't need any help with that.  I knew how to do that before I got clean and sober.  After all the time and effort spent building a personal relationship with the old HP, God, my Father, it is a relationship I cherish.  One that is so necessary to my peace and serenity that I refuse to allow anyone to tamper with it.  Even someone who is a lot more familiar with religious doctrine and dogma than I.


"Who are we to have a relationship with God?"


Uhhh... Gee, let me think... This is tough one... How about...His kids?


Have a good and sober day.