Primary Purpose

We know that alcoholics and drug addicts are always welcome to attend ETA meetings. Our very name tells us so: Every Thing Anonymous. Other recovery programs tend to be a bit more choosy.

 Since I'm addicted to any/all substances and behaviors that can spiral out of control, I attend many meetings that cater to one specific addiction or another and find that excellent recovery is inherent in every one of them. Yet, in being specific, there is sometimes a question of who is allowed to attend these meetings. I know this to be a hot topic and many are very passionate about their beliefs, not to mention forceful in expressing their beliefs. Lately, I have attended a few meetings that have felt the need to open this particular can of worms. Here is my take on the subject.

If an ?A meeting (fill in the ? with whatever letter you like) is closed, then only those with ? problems are allowed to attend. Should the meeting be open then anyone is welcome to attend. However, they are not allowed to share. This is spelled out quite clearly in the meeting's preamble. Making sure that the meeting adheres to this is the chairperson's responsibility.



For me, I believe that each meeting should stick to the primary purpose of it's recovery program and fellowship. If I am in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, open or closed, the primary purpose is to carry the AA message to the alcoholic. There ought not be discussion about overeating, gambling or smoking. I'm going to the meeting to learn about living without taking a drink. I don't necessarily have an issue with these other things. I can't relate to the struggles with them. Moreover, I flat out don't care. I'm trying to not kill myself with booze. That is what I care about.



A Cocaine Anonymous meeting is for discussion about it's members learning how to live without using cocaine. If you don't have a cocaine problem, keep your mouth shut and listen. You have no qualification to participate in the discussion. Nor should you bring up the cocaine problem of your friend, spouse, neighbor, etc. CA members are not the cocaine police. We do not roam the streets, or search out in any way, cocaine users and lecture them or force them to stop using. If someone asks for help with their own problem we will go to any length to help them, but we have enough to do helping those who want to quit, thank you. Plus, we know that if someone doesn't want to get clean they aren't going to get clean. It's that simple. Go whine/tattle/whatever somewhere else.



One other thing. If you bring up the topic or even want to join in the discussion put your damn phone away. If your games, texting, pornographic pictures, messages, etc. are so important, don't come to the meeting. You obviously feel you have better things to do and I don't want to be distracted from the message of recovery by them. In fact, there is a good chance I will point out (to the whole group) how rude, selfish and disrespectful you are being. I enjoy doing that kind of thing. To show respect for the recovery program on which my life depends.



Have a good and sober day.