Crabs

Last night at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous there were many newcomers, most of which were from a facility with a residential drug and alcohol treatment program. I have been in several different meetings with some of these women and am interested in watching how alcoholics interact with each other After all, I am one and watching other alcoholics teaches me a lot about me.

Anyway, there was this cute, slender, young thing with dimples (that was so full of fecal matter it was almost laughable) who seemed to delight in making disparaging remarks to another gal who was not as cute or slender. She did this mostly by saying hurtful things and then quickly claiming that she was just teasing. I wanted to smack the sweet young thing but my sponsor insists that smacking people is not sober behavior. Dang. I hate that.

Instead, I took the other gal aside after the meeting and told her she might want to consider finding more people to hang out with, people that didn't run her down. I told her that I figured she didn't need any help telling herself she was inferior, it seemed she was able to do that all by herself. Most of us already know how to beat ourselves up when we get here. Then I told her something that I learned years ago.

Did you know that you need not put a lid on a bucket of crabs? Even though crabs are very mobile, there is little chance they will escape because if one of them starts to get near the top the others pull it right back down. Once the crabs are in the bucket they guarantee their own demise by keeping each other trapped. I suggested that she look for people that will support and encourage her as she travels the road to recovery and make friends with them instead. I also told her that when I call someone a crab, I'm being very insulting. I'm saying that person is so negative that being in their presence is liable to kill me.

Have a good and sober day.