Anonymity

I am recovering from substance abuse through the program of ETA (Every Thing Anonymous) and this blog contains situations that I either encounter personally or those that I hear about involving other people also recovering. The program of ETA has a policy on anonymity. The program itself can be freely discussed at any public or private level but not the individual members that make up of fellowship of ETA. Those of us in the fellowship of ETA are to maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films and all other media or public forums. After all, even the name of our fellowship contains the word 'Anonymous'. Okay, now that we have the business side of ETA addressed, we can move on to the fun stuff.

Alcoholics are basically selfish and self-centered. It says so in the basic text for alcoholics in recovery, the book "Alcoholics Anonymous". Being called selfish and self-centered is hardly fun stuff but there you go. The fun part comes when I start thinking about how that trait manifests (reveals) itself in our actions. Have you ever heard the saying, "It isn't all about you"? This often comes from the lips of your sponsor, and most of us (including me) get really ticked off when it is said in reference to our behavior. Here is a recent example:

Let's say that I bring up a topic, either in an ETA meeting or for this blog. I explain a bit about the circumstances that lead to my wanting to discuss this topic. Inevitably, someone contacts me afterward and says, "That topic was about me, wasn't it? You were talking about me. I know you were talking about me." And it is all I can do to keep from laughing out loud. Believe it or not, the issues surrounding my sobriety are not all about you. (I know that I can be the same way, focusing only on myself, but it's a lot funnier when I see it in someone else!)

Here is a little aside example: I had come to an ETA meeting directly after traveling and I looked a little rumpled. Trying to repair some of the dishevelment, I was grooming myself in the plate glass window before going inside. A man also coming to the meeting came up behind me and said, "Don't bother with that. We are too self absorbed to notice how you look." Good point.

Anyway, since I've had several of those "you were talking about me" comments on the blog postings, I've come up with an idea! When the situation for the blog involves a woman, I will call her Barbie or Midge. If it involves a man, he will be Ken or Brad. Children will be called Skipper. I'll number them if there is more than one.

That is the solution. From now on, if you think the topic is all about you, it probably is.

Have a good and sober day.