Analyyyzer 310.1

Analyyyzer

\ANAL-why?why?why?-zer\
noun
Meaning

: an adult that consistently responds to any statement or explanation by asking, "But, why?"; one who convinces him/herself that they are looking for information when in reality they want to stay focused on the problem; a major irritant to sponsors and other mentors

Most of my encounters with analyyyzers has been in the recovery program ETA. Most, but not all of them. There are analyyyzers out there that do not have a recovery program and, without our help and guidance, they may never grow out of it. You know, when a three-year-old repeatedly asks "Why?" it's understandable; irritating, but understandable. When a teenager does the same thing it's grounds for duct tape. Everybody in a household does chores and has responsibilities. It's like, the law, dude.

A recent dialog, the parent is in italics:

You need to pick up the stuff in the family room.

Why do I have to pick it up?

*Had I spoke to my mother like this, I'd have been smacked into next week and wondered where I was when I came to. But that's against the law, now.

Because there is stuff spread all over in there and most of it is yours.

Why can't I just pick up my stuff?

You can pick up your stuff, too.

But why do I have to pick up everybody's?

Because I said so.

Why can't you do it?

I'm busy doing the dishes.

Well, I'm busy downloading music.

You can pick up the family room and then download music.

That is so stupid! Why do I have to do everything?

Just clean the family room.

I have homework.

Then I suggest you get busy.

On my homework?

On the family room, then your homework. (I've played this one before. 'Homework' will take 2, 921 hours to complete if done first. At any other time, it will take 30 minutes.)

You want me to fail my classes?

I want you to pick up the family room.

Why do I have to do it?

Let me put it this way. If you have not picked up the family room by the time dinner is served in an hour, after dinner I will go to your face book page and post your childhood nickname.

Staying focused on the topic and refusing to be distracted from it has been vital to living/working/dealing with analyyyzers without slapping them. (Slapping people is NOT sober behavior!) Thank you, ETA. Through practicing the principles of recovery, I have become a much more effective parent. I even kind of enjoy it.

Have a good and sober day.