Gratitude Lists

Good morning! It is a snowy day and I get to stay home. I'm feeling a bit spunky and thought that I'd share a story with you about gratitude lists.

Barbie was newly sober and seemed to have one crisis after another. There is a part in the big book of "Alcoholics Anonymous" that says, "...So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making..." If that quote isn't exact, it's pretty darn close and I'm sure it was written especially for people like Barbie.

At the time Barbie was not too fond of me, although we became good friends later on. Also at the time Barbie failed to see the humor in the following experience but, eventually, we would tell the story and laugh until tears rolled down our faces.

Unlike many of us, Barbie had a valid drivers license when she came into the recovery program ETA. What she didn't have was a car. She either took the bus or walked anywhere she needed to go. Barbie got a job working at a retirement facility on the edge of town and worked second shift. Good for her for getting a job right away! Most of us have trouble working in early recovery. The problem was that the bus line didn't extend to the facility so she walked about half a mile to work.

At lunch time one day a few of us were sitting around the local sobriety club, probably accusing each other of cheating at cards. Barbie came rushing in, obviously in distress. "I locked my keys in my house!", she burst out. Barbie had rented a tiny place not too far from the sobriety club. "My dog is in there! My work uniforms are in there and I need them to work today!"

We quickly abandoned the card game to listen and help with this new dilemma. Her landlord was out of town so getting a spare key was out of the question. Her dog was going to starve to death but only after peeing and pooping everywhere which, since Barbie had failed to mention having a dog to the landlord, would cause big problems.

There was nobody from whom Barbie could borrow work clothes. Not only that, but the dog would probably soil the work clothes she did have, along with everything else, and they would be ruined. Ruined!! She couldn't afford new uniforms. In fact, she was probably going to lose her job when she showed up in street clothes so she wasn't going to have the money to move, either.

Going in circles is only fun for a short time. I began to feel that this merry-go-round would never end. For every possible solution Barbie had a reason it wouldn't work. We were getting nowhere. I told Barbie to get a paper and a pen from the head table and bring it over to where we were sitting.

"But I don't want to write a gratitude list!" she whined as she shuffled to get the items.

"A gratitude list?" I asked, "How is that going to help?"

"Isn't that why I need the paper?"

"Hell no! You are going to write out all the problems so we can figure out where to start in solving them." Which is exactly what we did. After putting them down on paper, Barbie figured that if she could get into her house, all the other problems would either go away or be resolved easily. Yet she had locked her keys in the house.

We are in a room with several alcoholics, who tend to have a reputation for being a tad unscrupulous before they get into recovery. "Does anybody know how to break into a house without damaging anything?" I call out. Lo and behold, somebody does. Off they go to Barbies house, the former criminal having both a drivers license and a car, to break in and get her keys.

Ten minutes later, the former breaking and entering expert returns to tell us that Barbie found a spare back door key in her wallet. She had put it there in case she was ever locked out. Barbie hadn't returned to the club (she was getting ready for work) so we all burst out laughing. Whenever someone mentions a gratitude list in a meeting today, those that know this story look at each other and mouth the words: "A gratitude list? How is that going to help?"

Have a good and sober day.