Letting Go

There are certain mantras that we, in the recovery program ETA, use regularly to help us deal with all the thrills and chills of living life clean and sober. Some meeting places even have the mantras written in fancy script, framed and hung on the walls along with the 12 steps. We exchange these words back and forth, both inside and outside of meetings. They have become part of the 'recovery dialect' (A doctor speaks 'medical dialect', a lawyer speaks 'legal dialect', etc.) which each person with more than a couple of weeks clean and sober understands.

Therein lies the problem. Not everyone at an ETA meeting has more than a couple of weeks clean and sober. Not everyone who reads this blog is in recovery from substance abuse. Speaking 'recovery' in front of someone who does not understand it is rude. It's probably politically incorrect, too, and I can't tell you how important being politically correct is in my life. (That's because this is a family friendly blog.)

So today, I would like to explain the ETA mantra, Letting Go. (If you will recall from earlier posts, my personal motto is, "I am only here to help.") When we are trying to control the outcome of a situation and it refuses to go the way we want, our lives tend to become unmanageable. We try even harder to force the issue. We need to let go. When we are hanging on to something or someone so tightly we are strangling it, rather than tightening our grip, like we have done in the past, we need to let go. When we are worrying, worrying about the future, we need to let go.

Telling someone that they need to let go is all fine and dandy, but if you don't tell someone how to let go you might as well save your breath. This suggestion, like most suggestions, is pointless without directions. So, I am going to help you understand Letting Go.

The key to letting go is WD 40. That's right, the spray can of oil (or whatever it is) that you can buy at all hardware and most grocery stores. It even penetrates to loosen those hard to reach areas. It says so right there on the can. I have found this to be accurate. Have you ever tried to maintain a grip on something drenched in WD 40? You can't! It's impossible! At the first sign of pressure the saturated object, or person, spurts right out of your grasp. Most of the time it shoots across the room so you have to chase it, which those of us determined to hang on will do, repeatedly but without progress.

Picture someone with a bottle of booze in their grip. Mentally spray the bottle with WD 40. After a few moments their fingers slip off the bottle, which means, technically, they have let go. Now picture the person darting about attempting to reestablish their hold on the bottle. Everything the bottle touches gets smeared with WD 40, frustration colors their language so heavily it is not able to be repeated in front of small children and the bottle stays tightly capped.

Think how stupid the person looks chasing a bottle around the house and/or neighborhood. They smell bad, too. WD 40 is hardly perfume! You can't stop them from making a fool out of themselves because they have oil all over them. You have to let them do this exercise until they collapse, flushed and winded, sweaty and dirty.

Now apply this scenario to whatever you are hanging on to. Do you want to look like this joker sprawled at your feet? See how easy it is to simply let go? Which is another mantra for ETA; Keep It Simple. Should you want me to explain that one please contact me privately.

Have a good and sober day.