Three Faces of the Old HP

Somewhere along the road of my educational travels, I became familiar with a book?/movie? titled, "The Three Faces of Eve". I think it was about split personalities, but I'm not sure; and it doesn't really matter in regards to this post. While chatting with the old HP this morning, the title popped into my head. Ever the prankster, that is all He gave me. Gee, thanks a heap. Might as well run with it.

In ETA, a program for recovering alcoholics and addicts, we are encouraged to find a Higher Power of our own understanding. Many of us, as newcomers, get off to a stumbling start. Now remember, what someone says is not necessarily what the other person hears. Newcomers are especially prone to altered hearing and thought processing. Here are a few examples.

The old HP as a test.

In ETA literature, it says that we can go anywhere if we are in fit spiritual condition. Barbie, a young newcomer, came across this information and immediately reprocessed the message to: Go anywhere you want, even a bar and, if you get agitated, stay there until your spiritual condition is fit.
Amazingly, Barbie spent a lot of her early sobriety getting arrested for fighting with the other people in the bar. After several arrests, Barbie finally asked someone if there was any other way to test her spiritual condition. The legal fees resulting from sobriety were causing her tremendous financial difficulties. (Despite the arrests, her spiritual connection must have been great because she stayed sober.)

Moral of the story: Speak clearly and concisely to newcomers. Have them tell you, in their own words, what you said.

The Old HP as Santa Clause.
"God could and would if He were sought." This also comes from ETA literature. Ken, a newcomer who sponsored himself, translated the message to: If you are a good boy and stay sober, the old HP will bestow all your wishes upon you. You ask, He delivers.
I don't know what Ken asked for, but what he got was restlessness, irritability, volatile and agitated. He also got drunk, came back for another go at ETA and got a sponsor.

Moral of the story: Don't pick out a sentence from the literature and act on it without asking someone with more experience what it means. Also, if the old HP wants to give gifts to you, He need not come down the chimney to do so.

The old HP as a Police Officer.
Somewhere in the Bible, or so I've been told (by an ETA member no less!), it says we are as guilty for our thoughts as we are for our actions. This was reprocessed to: If you are awake, you are bad because of your thoughts and actions. If you are asleep, you are bad because of your dreams, which are your thoughts, too.
This is me. I thought the old HP was hiding behind a cloud with a radar gun, chalking up my sins. If He got distracted by a war or something, He called an angel to take over for Him. My sponsor told me I wasn't big or bad enough to warrant Heaven's undivided attention.

Moral of the story: Don't use spiritual literature as a weapon. Newcomers don't need any help beating themselves up.

Have a good and sober day.