Parasite

Once a week a bunch of us gals in the recovery program ETA get together to study a book on alcoholism or drug addiction. Last night's meeting was incredible! We didn't get much reading done, but we did much discussion about applying what we have learned about our recovery to daily life. I love that kind of thing! You may be surprised to know that I sometimes have a bit of difficulty applying the recovery concepts to my actions. I'm certain that this has never happened to you. Here is an idea that we tossed about at the meeting last night.

Alcoholism is what I have; it is not what I am. I am not a disease, I am a person with a disease.

If you think back to 4th grade science class you might remember learning about parasites. What is the goal of a parasite? To kill the host. What is the goal of alcoholism? To kill the person that has alcoholism; essentially to kill the host.

I try to separate myself from the disease. I will always be an alcoholic, but the image of a parasite gives me a wee bit of distance to help me see my disease more clearly. Being mentally and spiritually apart from the disease allows me to be on guard against the cunning, baffling and powerful aspects of alcoholism. The aspects that start out seeming logical but are not. The beginnings of alcoholic thinking that lure so many of us back to boozing and using and, ultimately, to our deaths.

The concept of a parasite also enhances the truth of alcoholism being a disease. (This was tough for me to grasp in early sobriety.) And I can ask myself weather my thoughts are feeding me or the parasite of alcoholism. Of course, I ask the old HP to help out with this process. I believe He is the One that puts the question, "Who are you feeding with this kind of thinking?", into my head when needed. He is also the One that can help me change my thinking.

With the old HP, ETA and you, I can cut down the tentacles of my parasite so that it doesn't drain me dry.

Have a good and sober day.