Treated Like A Dog

At a recent ETA meeting Ken was talking about old vs. new behaviors. Before he got into recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction, Ken said that he used to be like a dog; he barked a lot, sometimes he’d bite people, he crapped everywhere, he chewed up other people’s things, etc. People treated him like he was a dog (surprise!!) and Ken resented it.

Once he got into recovery and began working the steps with a sponsor, he told his sponsor, Alan, that people were mean and inconsiderate towards him. He explained that he was a nice guy (Ken’s opinion of Ken) and that he was perplexed by others behavior. Poor Ken seemed to gravitate toward those who abused his friendship and were unappreciative of his excellent character and loyalty. Poor Ken, this must just be his lot in life. Unkindness was obviously the reason he drank. How sad. It almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

Believe it or not, Alan’s reaction to this tragedy was somewhat different to these kinds of stories. Rather than reach for a tissue with which to wipe away tears he explained how unattractive self-pity was, especially in a grown man. He also said that Ken was not a victim. (Sponsors are like that.) Through a self-appraisal and personal inventory, Ken began to see the reality of his problems in relationships. People treated him like a dog because he acted like a dog. If he didn’t like the consequences his behavior was producing, he could change or he could live with it. Period. Alan was not going to feel sorry for him.

The chapter “The Doctor’s Opinion” found in the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous”, says that we, alcoholics and drug addicts, frequently have trouble differentiating the truth from the false. My own sponsor says that we have a disease of perception. I think this is a good illustration of both of those concepts.

Ken also said that, although he likes dogs, by maintaining a conscious contact with his Higher Power daily, working the steps, taking his sponsor’s suggestions and practicing the principles of ETA he no longer has to act like one.

Have a good and sober day.