Spring Growth

The past couple of days have encouraged me to think that spring might actually arrive sometime within the next few weeks. I love spring. I love watching the world come back to life. Yesterday, I was poking around my herb garden and noticed some tiny, bright green leaves under the debris placed there by this years rather aggressive winter. Of course, some of the herbs are not yet awakening. Not that I can see anyway. And some herbs do not survive the winters, meaning I must get new plants every year. I get excited by seeing the new growth of some and disappointed by not seeing it in all. Kind of like newcomers to recovery.

This past week, I had to tell a newcomer, Barbie, that I am unable to help her and she should search for a new sponsor. Her legal requirements/consequences will be finished in a few weeks and we have wrestled over the words 'powerless' and 'unmanageable' (in the first step) for the past six months. For whatever reason she doesn't believe she is powerless, or that her life is unmanageable. She will, however, say what she thinks I want to hear. Sigh...

I thought long and spent quite a bit of time talking it over with the old HP before I decided what to do and took action. It's always a difficult decision to make, especially when I know required (by the court system) sobriety is coming to an end soon. All the thoughts like "What if..." swirl in my head. As though I'm in any way responsible for someone else's sobriety!

Finally I was able to hear (AGAIN!) what the program tells us: If you can't help someone, the least you can do is to get out of the way so that someone who might be able to help them can draw near. Like the herbs, seeing growth in a newcomer is exciting. And, like the herbs, those that aren't making visible growth don't need me to keep fussing with them. The old HP is still running the show. All of 'em.

Have a good and sober day.