Step Three

Step Three of ETA says that we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the old HP. This doesn't mean just mine. It means that I turn OUR (everybody I know or come into contact with) thoughts and actions over to Him. Even the idiot that obviously got their driver's license from a gum ball machine and is now driving the car ahead of me. Or the kid (mine) that seems unable to notice the waste basket is over flowing. Or the newspaper carrier who thinks it is okay to toss my paper into a mud puddle in my yard and leave it there. All of these (people, thoughts, actions) get turned over to the old HP in step three. Truth be told, He can have them. They just drive me nuts.

My closest friends in ETA are pigs. This is actually what we call each other. Pig is defined as: Someone who tells you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear. A pig isn't your sponsor (we don't work the steps together), pigs are those who know each other well and trust that we will have each others backs when times get tough. When I have a crisis, real or imagined, going on in my life a pig will let me be worked up about it for a time. However if it goes on too long (or I start becoming insane about it) will sit me down, listen all about whatever it is and then say, "What does the old HP have to say about this?" I will look at them blankly. "You have either done step three or you haven't." At this point, I call them a pig which is more acceptable than flinging profanity at them or knocking their teeth down their throat.

Turning all thoughts and actions over to the old HP is not a 'once in the morning and I'm covered' kind of thing for me. Stupid people crop up frequently throughout the course of my days. They say or do things that sound/look like a request for me to help them see the error of their ways and I am tempted to enlighten them on the CORRECT way to do things. I get all judgmental and frustrated by them, which leads to 'justifiable anger'. I have now begun the process of building a resentment which is fatal for an alcoholic like me.

I need to remember that there is a God and I'm not It. I fall into prayer at this time: "My dear old HP, please give this idiot jerk moron exactly what he deserves." Another favorite prayer I use in times like this is: "God, I don't know how or why, but I do know that you love this creep as much as you love me. Help me treat this crazed animal as one of Your children." (Hey! ETA is an honest program, including being honest with the old HP.)

Some people say that all you have to do in step three is just make a decision. They say that step three doesn't require action. I don't know about you, but I find turning away from what I want to think/say/do and bending my will into alignment with the old HP's will can be a hell of a lot of work. Foregoing my natural inclinations to 'handle things' takes quite a bit of determination and strength at times. While thinking only about myself and deciding what I ought to do takes no effort at all.

Have a good and sober day.